 Author's note: Just fasttimesatnau for fun...with apologies to Raymond Chandler fasttimesatnau and Mickey fasttimesatnau Spillane fasttimesatnau.
 "Ohhhhhh yesssss...right there Sam. Oh yeah, baby. Keep doing darby daryn fasttimesatnau it fasttimesatnau just like that fasttimesatnau."
 Since fasttimesatnau I ain't dead, you can figure out for fasttimesatnau yourself what category I fit into.
 Who's the fasttimesatnau dame? Oh, that's fasttimesatnau my secretary, Thelma. I daryn met her about a year daryn ago in a lounge on the East Side, on fasttimesatnau the trail fasttimesatnau of some fasttimesatnau dip who'd darby daryn fasttimesatnau stolen a fasttimesatnau wallet from Baker, the landlord of the building containing my office. He dangled fasttimesatnau a year's free rent in front of me if I should find fasttimesatnau this guy and get back his fasttimesatnau wallet, though he never said what fasttimesatnau might be in it that was fasttimesatnau damned fasttimesatnau important. Using online my contacts, I fasttimesatnau followed him down to a little dive darby daryn fasttimesatnau where he supposedly did business fasttimesatnau with a fence fasttimesatnau named "Dr fasttimesatnau. Mesmer fasttimesatnau," the featured fasttimesatnau nightly entertainment
 "Pleasssssssssssse......ppppplllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssseee..."
 "Cccccccuuuuuummmmmmminnnnnnggggggggggg.."
 "We'll online see about that fasttimesatnau. Would you care to have a seat?"
 "In fasttimesatnau so many words, yes."
 "As you say."
 "Come again?"
 Now fasttimesatnau, believe fasttimesatnau me fasttimesatnau, those words didn't come out fasttimesatnau of mouth immediately after fasttimesatnau I peed my pants. No, tough guy fasttimesatnau that I am daryn, it took fasttimesatnau me more than a few moments fasttimesatnau to recover my fasttimesatnau steely gaze fasttimesatnau and hard fasttimesatnau-boiled exterior darby.
 As it was, "Dr fasttimesatnau. Mesmer" was gentlemanly about the whole thing. He fasttimesatnau offered me his bathroom fasttimesatnau to clean up fasttimesatnau, and asked if I'd online hand out my pants darby daryn fasttimesatnau, so they could fasttimesatnau be cleaned. Or darby daryn fasttimesatnau if fasttimesatnau I daryn'd rather wear them out like that. I fasttimesatnau accepted his offer, and before I knew it Thelma fasttimesatnau was fasttimesatnau in the bathroom with me, waiting fasttimesatnau for me fasttimesatnau to take off fasttimesatnau my pants and fasttimesatnau underwear so she could take them wherever and get them clean.
 Surprisingly, "Dr. Mesmer" sighed when Sam asked that question. "Life isn't like the movies, Sam. I don't have some infinite power to monitor every person on the planet. But I can fasttimesatnau and do have the ability to attract people that really want fasttimesatnau to make a deal with me to a specific place, at a specific time. Such as this place fasttimesatnau. Such as fasttimesatnau tonight."
 "Come, come, Sam fasttimesatnau...you're alone in life, you don't even have a secretary, and Thelma hasn't left this place in 200 years. She needs fasttimesatnau someone to keep her in online check while she's learning all the fasttimesatnau ropes." Lucifer lowered his voice fasttimesatnau conspiratorially. "And besides...she gives great head." He turned to daryn Thelma. "Show him."
 At fasttimesatnau that, Thelma brought her darby head from fasttimesatnau the floor and looked at me fasttimesatnau like darby daryn fasttimesatnau a hungry fasttimesatnau cat who just spotted cream. She undulated across the floor on her fasttimesatnau knees darby, wiggling her ass online in an attempt darby daryn fasttimesatnau to make her crawling even fasttimesatnau more sexy. In fasttimesatnau no time, she was between fasttimesatnau my legs fasttimesatnau, pulling down the fasttimesatnau zipper on my pants with her teeth. As she slowly drew my cock out of my shorts and began running her long red darby daryn fasttimesatnau nails over fasttimesatnau its fasttimesatnau length, she whispered, "We're going to have such fasttimesatnau fun, you fasttimesatnau and I. I'll do anything fasttimesatnau you want darby daryn fasttimesatnau, anything at all."
 Lucifer walked over and sat darby daryn fasttimesatnau on the couch fasttimesatnau beside me. "I had her lick up your piss because it fasttimesatnau bonded her to you. Now, she'll always darby be fasttimesatnau at your beck and call, ready and willing, for the rest of fasttimesatnau your fasttimesatnau natural life. And that's just my special gift to you. You still haven't told me what you want...what I can give you."
 At this point, I was fasttimesatnau barely aware of his own name fasttimesatnau. As Thelma's lips slid up and fasttimesatnau down on my cock, she was using darby daryn fasttimesatnau her hands, her fasttimesatnau nails, her tongue in ways that I never even knew existed. In short order, she had me right online on the edge fasttimesatnau of darby daryn fasttimesatnau cumming, and held fasttimesatnau me there daryn, not letting fasttimesatnau me fasttimesatnau go.
 "It's the moment of truth, Sam. Time to make fasttimesatnau your deal fasttimesatnau with the fasttimesatnau Devil. What can I do fasttimesatnau in return for you soul?"
 When darby Thelma looked up at me and said "the best private dick in the world," it stuck fasttimesatnau in my mind, and I thought, that's what I want fasttimesatnau to be...that's what fasttimesatnau I want from the devil.
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